The Rolodex

Dear Roommate,

I know that you are a kind, good, delightful person, and even though you haven’t taken the time to introduce your boyfriend to me, I can only assume that he shares those attributes.

On a seemingly unrelated topic (though this will come full circle), we live in an old, tall house, in which the walls are thin and moderate to vigorous movement can be felt in all areas in the house.

Finally, I know that you are not aware of this because I have not told you, but I have a job interview tomorrow quite early in the morning.

When you and your boyfriend are doing the nasty, every room in our ancient apartment shakes.  My build-it-yourself shoe rack from the Container Store shudders as it comes closer to falling completely apart; my favorite T-strap platform sandals hang onto their rung by the stiletto heel.

Yet most importantly, the pervasive pulsing of your love-making does not, as a rumbling dryer does for a sleepless baby, lull me into my own dreamland; instead, with every movement my eyes grow wider and my mind takes a small step further from the sleep I am so sorely wishing that I had that I had attained sooner.

Yes, I lie here, wishing I could erase the motion picture in my mind, only to be replaced by a picture of myself yawning my way through tomorrow’s interview, or falling asleep at the wheel on the forty-minute drive there.  But to my enjoyment, two minutes later, the house is calm again.

Was it good for you?  Goodnight.  Until your next 120-second trip to the promised land.

(Seriously, though, if this becomes commonplace I’m going to…..move out into a studio.)

So remember back in the day, which by the way was a Wednesday (actually it wasn’t — it was a Sunday) when I was at this hipster bar and this hipster couple was hitting on me?  And then the guy (we’ll call him R) gave me his business card?

Well, I had emailed him several days later, saying, “It was fun to meet you and RG” [RG will stand for R’s Girlfriend] “Let me know if you are going to karaoke again, etc.”  We talked a little bit through that email thread and then stopped.

My karaoke friends and I were GOING to go again this past Sunday, and I had emailed him during the day saying so — he said he had to work late but if I wanted to we could get a drink later on (as mentioned previously, he works in my neighborhood).  Karaoke friends ended up bailing, so I said sure to the drink, but then remembered I had a ridiculously busy day on Monday which also involved singing so if I were even the least bit hungover, life would not be good.  But I of course suggested coffee or lunch sometime during the week in my neighborhood.  Because who is going to turn up friends?  Especially not me.  (Also - because I had been emailing him right before bed I had this super sexy dream about him, and in the dream he asks me if I would have a threesome with him and his girlfriend.  In the dream, I waffled about it.)

Well, R emails me yesterday at like 6:30PM, asking if I wanted to get coffee, but I was in a rehearsal (and then doing karaoke — especially flirting with the cute bartender from last time, Z, who also lurvesssss me) so I suggested today.

We met after my coaching (which by the way was SO AWESOME!  Holy crap.  I fucking love singing opera) at about 4:45, and were together until like an hour-and-a-half ago. Let me tell you the story.

Not exactly rated PG so I will put it under a cut.

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I had this totally sexy dream about a guy I went to college with.  We’ll call him Bo.  We knew each other in college because he dated a good friend of mine.  He was two years ahead of me so when they broke up and he graduated we didn’t talk until…….we stumbled upon each other on OkCupid.  Awkward.

Anyway, he lives all the way across the country so we just text — he came to visit his family in March but we weren’t able to get together, and then his parents moved so he probably won’t be back anytime soon.

I dunno, though, this dream was super sexalicious, and I’ve been thinking naughty thoughts about Bo all day.  Now I feel like I need to take a trip.  Except we don’t really know each other that well, and I don’t know anybody else I could go visit near where he lives.

Also — I just got Justin Bieber’s Believe early!!! It’s not due to release until Tuesday but it is SOOOO good :)

One more also — I just went for the most KICKASS six mile run.  It was so fantastic.  I never want to be doing anything but running.  I didn’t go the route where I’d see running boyfriend, though.  I probably won’t see him until Monday.

So an interesting thing has happened — I’m sure you’ll be able to relate.

I was seeing D for quite some time.  Our first date was at the end of October and we saw each other pretty much every week until the last few weeks of December.  During that time I found myself unsure of how I felt about him.  Some days I really liked him, and some days I was just having fun, but knew I would never feel passionately about him.

Well, the last time I saw him, however uninterested I thought I was in him was either untrue or fogged up by six beers because the night ended….well, it didn’t really end until the next morning, let’s just say.

The next day, I went out with 311 (to whom I have still been talking a bit), and had a good time, and woke up the following day only thinking about D.  I mused to a friend, do I like him because we slept together, or do I like him because I like him?

I looked back on the evening, and realized that we had spent hours just…talking, before we ended up back at his apartment to get it done.  And every time we saw each other before that, it was the same.  My conclusion: I actually like him.

I suggest we get together before he goes on vacation.  He says he would love to.  Then he has to cancel on me the night we were supposed to see each other — he had a lot of work to do.  It’s fine!  I understand.

Off he jets to Puerto Rico the following day.  A week later, I expect to hear from him when he has come back.  I don’t so I text him (thinking he still likes me), and since then all of our interactions have been initiated by me.

A few nights ago, I asked a friend-of-a-friend what I should do — he said, “Every guy wants what he can’t have, so you should text him now” [we were already having a text-versation] “and tell him you are out with a group of really cute guys and he will come to you right away.”  Now I am wishing I had done that, instead of just bouncing around our plans for the night, because then he would know that my Rolodex is ever-growing.

We were supposed to get together the following day, Sunday.  He had said he “absolutely” wanted to hang out when I suggested it, and we should “def hang out” on Sunday.  Come Sunday, I hear nothing from him.  And because I had done all of the initiation of conversation since he came back from vacation, I was sure as shit not going to remind him.

It’s Tuesday.  The last interaction we had was on Saturday night, when he told me what bar he was at.  I said, “Cool! Sounds fun!” and he said, “Come!” and I told him I was going to stay where I was but hopefully I would see him the next day.  And then nothing.

What changed?  Why, since his trip, or since we slept together, or since I am all of a sudden showing more interest in him, has he fallen off the face of the earth?

And why, in this information and communication age, has communication become so difficult?  I’ll tell you — because most interaction happens now through electronics, instead of face-to-face.  You can have entire relationships and friendships without ever seeing the person.  That’s crazy.

Anyway, my newest addition to the Rolodex asked tonight to take me to dinner.  He’s the guy I met on New Year’s Eve (wearing my sexy sequin skirt), the Marine.  We shall see!

Laterrrrr

Donna Juanita

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